Just Evie Things
by CarGarZar
Summary: Fun and quick vignettes of our favorite sorceress.
1. Dancing With the Wolf

It was so wonderful. Violins, harps, flutes, and all sorts of musical instruments played in the King's court. Evie was excited, scared, nervous, and happy. But above all else, she never thought there would be a day quite like this.

The sorceress was greeted by her fellow, who tipped his fedora. They stepped together towards the ballroom floor when Evie gripped Kai's hand and flashed him a quick smile.

"I dunno." His words were void of any confidence as he let go. Evie giggled. For once, the man she knew as bold and deadly was at his most vulnerable point.

"It's easy. I'll show you."

The sorceress carried off a simple maneuver with right foot forward and Kai's left foot backward, then a switch. She felt the man clasp his sweaty hands firmly around hers as he began to follow her movements. Evie's casual twists made Kai look more unrefined than he appeared to be, and sometimes the marksman would lean close enough for her to smell the whiskey strong in his breath.

"You know," she said between their exchanges, "I thought you didn't like parties." He didn't have any choice.

The marksman scoffed, and then whirled on his heel, tripping over Evie's satin dress as he fell on his backside with an involuntary grunt.

"Careful, mister." She said with a smirk, clearly enjoying the moment.

Kai pulled his brimmed hat over his eyes in shame. The corners of his mouth were sharply turned into a frown. Several people had caught the embarrassing sight of the man falling, but Evie only smiled at them.

Evie held her hand out while flashing Kai a victory grin. The disgruntled man rolled his eyes at her and left her standing while he sauntered over to a bar. Evie poked her tongue behind his back, relishing this great, personal victory.


	2. Tête–à–tête

There was the welcoming sight of fire and roast pig as the archer strode into the campsite. Mud and grass. Under his collar, down inside his boots, staining and curdling his tired body. He sat on a log and the bottom of his trousers pricked against the husk of wood; he smelled the charcoal and barbecue as he glanced at his companion. She waved.

"Do you have a last name?" Evie said, and when she smiled, the archer saw meaty bits stuck in her teeth.

The archer returned a nod. Bubbling oil drenched his hand as he squeezed the meat. The taste was like savory bliss as he shoveled it down his throat.

"Is black your favorite color?" She asked, her voice chirping like a bird. "You always wear such dark and depressing colors."

"Naw," he replied, adding a grunt as he chomped and chomped. What was with all these random questions?

The archer ripped off more hot, oily bacon. "You?"

Evie took in a huge breath. "I like pink, purple, yellow, green, blue, and white…basically all of the bright colors!" She took another dramatic breath, "I'm not sure about the dark ones, but I guess black looks pretty mysterious and cool." Her eyes sparkled with excitement.

The rest of the night went on, and the archer listened to the sorceress. She had endless resources of conversation topics. The archer stared at the uncaring stars, and they stared back. Tomorrow, he would go back to his life as a mercenary…to more endless killing.


	3. Pushed Too Far

"Oh, I have a story!" Evie said, the sudden sound of her voice almost made the poor archer choke on his drink. "Wanna hear it?"

He didn't care to hear it, but he nodded anyway, plopping his ciggy in his mouth and patting his pants dry with a cloth. The archer knew he made a grave mistake after hearing the sorceress reeling in deep puffs of air for her magnificent speech.

"My friend and I talked about how she saw a giant!" He nodded at her to continue.

"Kinda' like Karok, but he carried a huge sword on his back," The archer blew a smoke circle and nodded again.

"She said it must've weighed like five hundred stones!" He truly doubted this.

"Anyway, I wasn't able to find out his name," _Yup, keep going._

"Since my friend ran off in a hurry after telling me this story," _Alright, alright._

"But she also told me before leaving that he killed a thousand Fomors in one night without getting tired, like how is that even possible?" _How is it even possible for you to—never mind._

"I wonder how long he'd last in be—I mean, isn't he amazing?" It was almost as if she had regurgitated exactly what she had been told. Word for word.

The archer didn't even know how to react. He felt overwhelmed and yet, fascinated at the same time. Such a large lung capacity, and such a weird, undoubtedly fake story. He stared at her as he processed what he had just heard.

"I know it's quite a handful, but I—. " She caught his eyes with her own.

Evie ran a hand through her hair, but that didn't take Kai's attention away from her reddening face.

"So, tell me your story!" She said as if she had forgotten the last five minutes of their conversation, "You never say anything."

The archer lifted his eyes towards the distant ceiling and turned to face the bar. He wasn't intoxicated enough for this. Maybe he'd say a few things to throw her off his case.

"Fomors raided," after a few _ums_ , he continued, avoiding her eyes, "I ran away." The words were muffled by his cigar. _There, you happy?_

But she kept staring at him with her twinkling eyes edging him to go on. His lean frame deflated as he sighed.

"Stole a bow…" A cloud of smoke spun as the words came out of his mouth.

"More!" She said, her thirst for his juicy story was unmatched with his ever-present thirst for alcohol.

"Survived in the woods…" The memory was blurry, like the abyss of grass and trees in his head. He downed the rest of his drink, never had he drank so fast in his life. She waited for him to continue.

Instead, he stood up, casting a great shadow before her. "Later," he said. The last thing he heard was her whine in protest as he retreated.


	4. Dozing Off

Evie was the picture of pure laziness. Her body was spread eagle as she lay on the top of a sleeping bag, completely sedated with sleep. A little drool trickled down her chin by a thin and slimy thread.

"Get up." The archer prodded the lady with the bulky end of his boot. He had hoped it would jolt her awake, but to his annoyance she only stirred slightly.

Kai grabbed ahold of the sleeping bag and yanked it like a cheap tablecloth, he smirked under the shadow of his brimmed hat while the sorceress jerked upward with a yelp.

"Okay, okay! I'm up! Geez," she said as she massaged her backside. Kai let out a chuckle.

Her half-open eyes suddenly widened, "A-are you laughing at me? Since when did you ever laugh? Oh Morrighan!" Kai grunted and took off walking.

"Hey, wait up!"

They passed along a trail, where the wind kicked up a layer of soil, and the grass shivered like a naked leaf. Kai pressed his hand against the top of his hat as he fought the persistent gust. The road ahead was lengthy, and it stretched far into the horizon. He kicked a pebble off the dirt road, which flew into the abyss of green.

"How much farther is Colhen exactly?" Evie decided to break the silence.

"Far." He said, focusing on his sore feet.

"How long will this take?"

"Long."

"Wow, like I already didn't know that," she said. The archer smiled again, looking away from her.

Finally, they reached a settlement. The archer's eyes glazed over the view, there were raggedy tents set-up along a line in front of a city wall, and an arrangement of weapons rested near each tent. There was no sign of life. He smelled the burning smog from a campfire in a past memory, and he felt the muddy ground against his rear and envisioned an old, cherished bow that he no longer had resting beside him.

They strolled along the line of tents until they saw an entrance through the stone wall. Creeping to the opening, Kai grabbed his waterbag and drank.

"Thirsty?" He said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yep." She mocked his abrupt manner of speaking.

He tossed the waterbag to her. Evie's face was tender to the eyes and her skin was smooth…her black hair spilled down to her chest and swayed in the wind like a state of tranquility, and her lips, so soft, perhaps lusting after a wet embrace, and then, her breasts…they—

Two minutes had probably passed until Kai caught himself staring at the sorceress.

"Um…let's go." Kai heard as he felt a waterbag push into his hand.

The sorceress had walked ahead and he followed after her.


	5. Grave News

A swift knock on the door nearly caused Evie to poke her eye out with her makeup brush. Shit! Maybe it was her date, Lann, who had asked her out two days ago.

"Come in!" Evie said while putting on the finishing touches.

She didn't remember Lann's footsteps sounding so slow and heavy, almost as if he were dragging them across the floor. She didn't realize it wasn't him until she peeked behind her reflection. There was the black coat, the black hat, and the pointy end of his crossgun sticking out from behind his back. It was the messenger. It was Kai. She knew something was wrong by the look on his face…things were always wrong.

"Great, more bad news?" Evie locked eyes with the man through the reflection.

He spoke wordlessly, opening his mouth and closing it, shuffling his boots, phrasing each thought with hands shifting in his pockets. Time was fleeting.

"Did Lann get in trouble again?" She moved around like a gadfly, grabbing her staff and clearing her table of the colorful mess of dust left in the wake of the morning.

"I like ya." Evie thought she heard him say, but she couldn't hear him over the sound of her own bustle. It didn't help that he always mumbled his words.

She waited for him to repeat what he had just said, but when she turned, the man had vanished. _I like ya._ Maybe she misheard. The mysterious man's enigmatic words pressed against her like a heavy weight that day.


	6. Creepy Crawlies

They reached the fallen expanse of the quarry, where pillars of sandstone stood jutting against the orange-tinted sky. Leafless trees were scattered around the area, and they looked as if all the water had been sucked out (or squeezed out like a sponge). Looking at the floor, the archer squinted to see one of the largest crowds of insects he had ever laid his eyes upon; long, snakelike critters with hundreds of legs, circular roly-polies tumbling into dehydrated holes, where six and eight-legged buggers oozed into the surface to catch their daily sunrays. Evie had noticed them, too, when she skidded to a halt and let out a discordant scream simultaneously.

"I can't." She said, giving Kai a rebellious glare because she hated the idea of having crushed bug guts splattered all over the soles of her newly-made hightops.

Kai looked at her and sighed. The dangerous look in his eyes as he squeezed them into half-slits said: there was no time and no patience for this. Of course, being stubborn as she usually was, Evie ignored his growing impatience and kept her feet firmly planted on the ground, where there were no disgusting mucus or pus-filled crawlies to slither into her shoes. Can't he see how badly she wanted to turn back, ditch the damned mission, and sink herself into a hot bath? That was no way to answer a woman.

While Evie's only solution was to return to where it was safe and _bugless,_ the archer, on the other hand, had had a different idea, whether Evie liked it or not. He stepped towards her, his face was grim as she tilted her head upwards to catch his deep-blue eyes, and then he bent towards her ankles—she didn't dare move because she didn't know what was going on—and lifted her, one hand firmly clenched under her thigh in a grotesque manner.

"Put me down!" She said, smacking the backside of Kai's leather vest helplessly. He'd done it again, she realized, Kai had gone against her will which made him a very hard man to like. And now he had her in his arms, her head bobbing back and forth as he stepped across the sea of disgust, not making any effort to avoid stepping on one of the little pus-bombs. The front-end of his boot had smitten one of the insects, sending opaque green globs of goo in all directions, Evie had only seen the consequence of this first step as hundreds of little ones scampered away from Kai as if he had a circular aura of bug-repellant around him, and seconds later she saw the puddle of green, a boot print exclaiming its repulsive existence. Her stomach turned and twisted from the sickly sight while her head spun from being carried like a life-sized human doll.

"Almost through," Kai said. A pungent smell steadily rose from the heated, packed ground. She could not believe how effortlessly the archer had managed to block out the smell and she thought perhaps men's noses were not as sensitive as ladies' noses. Most of the critters had retreated into their dark holes and the way was almost clear, but to Evie, who had a backdoor view of the dirt and grime, there was no knowledge of what was still ahead.

"I think I'm gonna die." She replied, clinging so hard her knuckles were white like chalk against his dark leather top. Maybe if she exaggerated her suffering enough, the man she found hard to like would finally give her a break and allow her safe passage back to town. Dreams of a hot bath remained in her mind like a secret promise. _After all this, you're gonna give yourself a good scrubbing._ And after that nice bath, Evie would make sure to give him hell for putting her through this horrible crime.


End file.
